Patience with Children Made Easy… or not.

Bismillaah

Usually when I am make dinner these days, there’s hardly anyone at home. This leaves me with much needed time to reflect, ponder and just have the lessons taught by life sink in. But the other day, as I was cooking, my husband sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. I was frying the onions and it dawned on me… frying onions is a lot like raising children! Allow me to explain…

It’s a very simple analogy, really.
Substitute all your cooking ingredients to things you teach a child: morals, etiquettes, etc.. and think about it. If frying onions = raising a child; then cooking on the right heat, constantly watching it fry so it’s not overburnt, knowing when to add on the next ingredient = knowing how to prepare a meal which equals to knowing how to raise a child!

You still don’t get it?

Ok, let me break it down.

In order to prepare a meal, you need to have all the ingredients. In this case, this does not equal to ‘having’ a child. But starting to raise a child.

Next, you need to know what you are making, and have a recipe for it in your head, taught by someone, from a book or your own invention.

With Raising Children:
You need to have a plan of how you want to see them growing up, and as what. This is either taught to you by your parents’ or other grown ups with kids, from some Child Psychology books you have read or your own experiences as a child.

Let’s start with the basics, shall we?

Anyone who has been cooking long enough, knows how important it is to have the onions fried properly.  Though it is hard to wait for the onions to properly fry when you really wanna see a meal going somewhere, it is important that you take your time, or else all your food will taste bad, no matter how much you ’spice’ it up later on.

With Raising Children:
Invest your time and energy in teaching them while they are young. You cannot expect them to grow up fine when you have not started off right. Similarly, do not haste in teaching them everything. You gotta be patient! Just like frying onions. You know, increasing the temperature wouldn’t really make the onions cook faster, so why haste?

And if you really ran out of patience and ended up burning the onions, there’s always a way to fix it. Take out!

Of Noise and…

Bismillaah

I was admonished greatly by the elders in my family while growing up on the etiquettes of two primary things: how to walk, and how to talk. Basic presentation skills.

Not that I was a loud mouth or anything, but my parents (may Allaah protect and preserve them) are very hospitable people and there was never a day when we didn’t have guests at our place. And as we know… desis and hospitality! It is the focus of life at some households. Things such as, climbing stairs (Baaji will remember this one), closing doors of anything, general noise made from eating were all carefully scrutinized and corrected… sometimes in public if need be.

Alhumdulillaah, I am grateful to my parents for teaching my siblings (although some are still learning) and me the proper aadaab of presenting ourselves as human, but there is always a lot to learn.

And after getting married, all of this took a completely new turn.

Forget making noise while you are walking, or not watching your volume while speaking… My in-laws are broughtup not making any noise whatsoever while moving around the house. It’s creepy, I tell you!

One example is my sister-in-law, who always surprised me in the beginning. You can’t tell when that woman comes out of her room, grabs food from the kitchen, and goes back to her room. How can a person not make any noise while taking food or dishes out???! Sometimes, I’d be sitting in the living room with my husband, and we’d have no idea when she walked from behind us towards the kitchen. We’d only see her coming out… in dark, lol. Oh the famous one is when she comes home. You don’t even hear her taking the keys out, forget her footsteps, when opening the door. It still scares me!

In the first few weeks of my marriage, I had some trouble adjusting to an apartment from a life in suburbs. In the suburbs, the only noise you hear is coming from your own home. Hardly, you’d get to hear your neighbour’s crankin’ and slammin’. It’s different in the apartments. I was so scared when I first heard one of my neighbours’ yelling at her kids. I turned to my husband with a questioning look, “Is this woman for real? She knows we can hear her, right?”, and he just gave me a smile as if a child has asked an innoncent question to an adult.

Hubby is a joke. The kids (my in-laws) used to get scared in the beginning when I’d slam the cabinet doors in the kitchen. My husband, understanding where I am coming from, brought those noise-free velcro (what do you call them anyway?) and stuck them on the cabinet doors, so it doesn’t make any noise when I use them, all over the kitchen!  

walhumdulillaah.

“The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is someone who has excellent behavior;
and the best among you are those who behave best toward their wives.”

Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 106

Ofcourse, the best example is to learn from RasulAllaah, alayhim salaatu wa salaam (repeat that!)
Forget talking about dealing with your family over noise-nuisance, how do you treat guests or strangers disturbing your peace?

Ummul Mu’mineen, Aishah radhiyAllaahu anha tells us that RasulAllaah salAllaahu alayhi wasallam, used to be cautious of the worst type of people, and he would speak gently to them and treat them well. A man sought permission to enter upon him and he said, “Let him in, what a bad brother of his tribe he is!” When the man came in, he spoke gently to him. Aishah said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, salAllaahu alayhi wasallam, you said what you said, and then you spoke gently to him?’
He said, “O Aishah, the worst of people is the one whom people avoid because they fear his slander.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)

InshaAllaah, take it as a lesson to be gentle to everyone you meet (and not just in Ramadan!). We get to meet a lot of people from our community, sadly only during Ramadan, so give them the best taste of etiquettes by speaking gently to them. Who knows, because of your beautiful character, they’ll decide to come to the masjid more often?

WaAllaahu Musta’an

Didn’t Pray His Sunnah??

Bismillaah

My husband, may Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala forgive his sins and enter him into the highest station of Paradise, who is not from a desi background like me, frequently talks about those ‘chachas’ in the masjid who look at him weirdly for one or more reasons. 1) He doesn’t wear a kufi in the masjid while praying, 2) He leaves right after the jamaa’ah and leaves his sunnah for home.

My dad’s friend, who attends the same masjid as my husband, always questions him: Why is your head not covered? Why haven’t you prayed your sunnah. It went to an extent that he would give him weird looks whenever he’d enter or leave the masjid. Amazing!

Now, subhanAllaah, I went to my cousin’s house and found her readind Prof. Zulfiqar’s Prayer According to the Sunnah.
Under the “Voluntary Prayers” section, I found these hadeeth:

In Riyaadus Saliheen’s, The Book of Virtues, following ahaadeth have been narrated:

Zaid bin Thabit (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet, salAllaahu alayhi wasallam said, “O people! perform your (voluntary) Salat (prayers) in your homes because the best Salat of a man is the one he performs at home, except the obligatory Salat.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith tells us that the Nawafil and Sunnah prayers should be performed at home. It goes without saying that all the Fard constituents of every Salat are to be performed in the Masjid  in congregation. The order to perform the Nawafil prayers at home shows its merits. Firstly, it saves a person from showing off, and secondly, houses are blessed due to them.

Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet salAllaahu alayhi wasallam said, “Observe part of the [Nawafil (voluntary)] Salat (prayers) in your homes. Do not turn your homes into graves.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: “Observe part of the Salat (prayers) in your homes” here means Nawafil and Sunnah. The houses in which Nawafil are not performed are like graveyards. Such houses are like graves which have no scope for action and worship and are thus deprived of their reward, which is a great deprivation indeed.

1130. Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah salAllaahu alayhi wasallam said, “When you have finished your (Fard) Salat (prayer) in the mosque, you should observe some of your (Sunnah and Nawafil) Salat at home; Allah will bless your homes because of your Salat (in your homes).” [Muslim]

I hope my husband goes and clarifies this with the uncle at the masjid and take care of the grudge he has been holding, InshaAllaah! Meanwhile, this goes to all those ‘chachas’ in the masjid: Pray your sunnah, but at home, according to the Sunnah of RasulAllaah, alayhim salaatu wa Salaam! :)

Punishment in Action

Bismillaah

In Suratul Kahf, when Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala finishes mentioning the trials of religion (Story of the Cave), of wealth and children (story of the two gardens), then warn us about the shaytaan and his plots, and then the trials of knowledge (Musa and Khidr) and authority (Dhul Qarnayn), Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala talks about the disbelievers, the greatest losers, and then the believers.
In this post, I will  mention the part about the disbelievers.

Let’s say, you are hosting a huge party at your place. The guests have arrived and you start to show them your place.
Similarly, Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prepared something for the disbelievers as well.  

‏وَعَرَضْنَا جَهَنَّمَ يَوْمَئِذٍۢ لِّلْكافِرِينَ عَرْضًا

Ayah 100:  And We will present Hell that Day to the Disbelievers, on display
The disbelievers will be shown the Hell-Fire before being thrown into it.
Why will the disbelievers be shown Hell-Fire before being thrown into it? Because it is a form of a punishment, something that will torture them. It will increase their fear.

 

So, who did you invite to your party? Those who accepted your invitation.
Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala will be punishing:

‏ٱلَّذِينَ كَانَتْ أَعْيُنُهُمْ فِى غِطَآءٍ عَن ذِكْرِى وَكَانُوا۟ لَا يَسْتَطِيعُونَ سَمْعًا

Ayah 101: Those whose eyes had been within a cover [removed] from My remembrance, and they were not able to hear.
Remembrance: Quraan. They didn’t act, heed, reflect or ponder over the Quraan.
They were not capable of hearing: i.e., they didn’t have the ability to hear, they didn’t want to hear, or they refused to hear.
People don’t want to hear the Quraan because it goes against their desires. They are too arrogant for the Quraan.

 And then, you question your guests. How was your day? How long did it take you to get here? Was there any problem on the way?

‏أَفَحَسِبَ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوٓا۟ أَن يَتَّخِذُوا۟ عِبَادِى مِن دُونِىٓ أَوْلِيَآءَ ۚ إِنَّآ أَعْتَدْنَا جَهَنَّمَ لِلْكَافِرِينَ نُزُلًۭا

Ayah 102: Then do those who disbelieve think that they can take My servants instead of Me as allies?
Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala will question the disbelievers as a reproach (scolding).
Do they think they can take my servants, My slaves as awliyaa’ instead of Me?
Wali = a close protecting friend. One whom we rely on, we trust, we seek help.
Who did the disbelievers take as their allies from His Servants? It could be anything or anyone, like Eesa alayhis Salaam, sun, moon, stars, trees, birds – whatever people relied on, trusted and sought help from other than Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

إِنَّآ أَعْتَدْنَا جَهَنَّمَ لِلْكَافِرِينَ نُزُلًۭا

Indeed, We have prepared Hell for the disbelievers as a lodging.

Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala says that this is the hospitality for the disbelievers, something that is awaiting them in the Hell-Fire.

When guests come to your house, how do you prepare for them? You clean up your place to make it as comforting for them as possible.
You take out extra bedding and put new sheets on them to sleep on.
You serve them with the best food you can serve.
You offer them something to drink, like juice, tea or coffee.
You entertain them by sharing stories, ensuring they don’t feel bored.

Now, let’s say, you are hosting a big party at home. You will spend days planning for it. Looking over all the fine details for your guests’ comfort. Right? Comfort seating to the tastiest variety of food and drinks, and to the best of entertainment.

In Hell-Fire, the disbelievers bed will be beds of fire.
Their only food wil be from a Tree of Zaqqum whose fruits are bitter and shaped like a head of shaytaan.
Their only drink will be puss and blood off their wounds.
And once they have consumed that food, it will churn in their bellies like burning oil, like the boiling of hot water.
Their entertainment will be rebuking each other, arguing, rebuking the angels.

How long do your guests stay over? A day, 3 days, a week, and if you are really good you may host them for a month.
The disbelievers abode will be Hell-Fire for eternity and if only they knew what is awaiting them…

And We have prepared for the disbelievers a disgraceful torment.” (An-Nisaa’: 37)

And we seek Allaah’s Protection and Help.

The Traveler Finds Her Path

 

A friend from Calgary sent me this pic. Pretty cool, huh?

Sadness In My Heart…

Bismillaah

 

أحـزان قلبـي لا تـزول

حتـى أبشـر بالقـبـول

وأرى كتابـي باليمـيـن

وتقـر عينـي بالرسـول

“Sadness in my heart does not cease to exist,
Until I am given the glad tidings of the acceptance (to Jannah),
And I see my Book (of deeds) in the right hand,
And my eyes are cooled by the (sight of the) Messenger
(صلى الله عليه و سلم)”

 

 

__________________
Taken from forums.almaghrib.org

 

A Better Deal?

Bismillaah

Rehab met a lady who was selling a Shea Butter scrub along hand + feet cream, a product value of $24 for a sale price of $8. Not wanting to let go off this deal, she immediately made a purchase.

 

********************

 

 

Hamid stopped over one afternoon at a masjid to perform the Dhuhar salaah. He was tired from work and was feeling very hungry. He recalled seeing a $5 bill in his wallet before coming to the Masjid, and was making plans for grabbing a sandwich when a young man stopped him on his way out. The young man was carrying a few pieces of his calligraphy and eagerly asked Hamid if he would like to make any purchase to help him out. Hamid thought about the $5 bill he had, felt his stomach growly and then looked at the young man’s face. Feeling pity on the young man, he asked him to give his best calligraphy.

The young man patiently waited, as Hamid looked for the $5 bill in his wallet. Surprisingly, Hamid searched throughout his wallet and could not find the $5 bill. He asked the young man to wait and started looking again and then he found the bill folded in between some receipts. He made the purchase and the young man thanked him for his generosity.

********************

It has been a few months since Rehab and Hamid made their purchases.

The Shea Butter set is still sitting on Rehab’s dresser after initially being used for a couple times. Whereas, the durood that Hamid purchased from the young man  is still benfiting both Rehab and Hamid everytime they see it.

So, who really made a better deal? :)

It was narrated by Abu Dawood, 2041, with a hasan isnaad from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“There is no one who sends salaams upon me but Allaah will restore to me my soul so that I may return his salaams.”

How to Dream of RasulAllaah?

Bismillaah

This is a very beautiful lecture by shaykh Muhammad Hassan [9 minutes]

 اللهم صلّى و سلم على نبينا محمد

Summer Beauty And Fun!

Bismillaah

Alhumdulillaahi Rabbil ’Alemeen!

After 2 yrs of hardwork, my dad was finally able to finish building his own Gazebo in our backyard! I am glad I was able to witness the last pieces being installed.  The interior is not quite done. Mom is planning on installing curtains on the side and bringing in some new furtniture to set the place up.

Meanwhile, me and the girls do our painting in there :)

…Oh! And with the recent addition of Gazebo, comes the BBQ craze!

Couple days ago, while we were having the BBQ, I just sat there smelling in the scents, enjoying the beauty of summer, and just thanking Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala for allowing me to see, hear and smell His Blessings, walhumdulillaah. Many are the Blessings of Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala!

Enjoy =)
(Click on the picture for a larger view)

This is the gazebo at night time. Dad installed two lights on the side, and a fan in the middle

Close-up.

Setting Up

Making those kabaabs!

These are from a beautiful bunch of roses that my mom borrowed from the neighbours.

This year, the berries have grown in abundance, ma sha Allaah. Right beside this berry bush, we have the blueberries, which haven’t really grown yet…

Helpless?

Bismillaah,

Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, rahimahullah said in his book, “Patience and Gratitude“:

Those people are the ones whose misfortune has overtaken them, as they preferred this world to the Hereafter. The main reason for their sorry fate is that they ran out of patience. The major characteristics of these people are that they lie and cheat, indulge in wishful thinking and self-admiration, delay doing good deeds, and prefer instant gains in this world to lasting gains in the Hereafter. These are the people to whom the Prophet, salAllaahu alayhi wasallam referred to when he said, “The helpless man is the one who follows his whims and desires, and indulges in wishful thinking.”

I guess it’s time to wake up and do something about this life…